Here, we’ll take a look at a few things that give a solid gay reading:
* French-speaking Canadians
* Oscar Wilde
* Joe Orton – it’s quite possible that George Michael (see below) read some of Orton’s plays…
* Godless Sodomites – i.e. residents of Hollywood, California
* Pee Wee Herman – Paul “Rub It ‘Til It Hurts” Reubens
* Boy George – which is the perfect segue into (no pun intended)…
* ….George Michael – may have picked up a few restroom habits from Joe Orton. And we’re not talking about washing your hands after goin…
* Seattle, Washington – which is the perfect segue for that other “alternative” city….
* ….Portland Oregon
* Ellen DeGeneres – Duh
* Rosie O’Donnell – Duh squared
* Freddie Mercury
* Yo dad – Yeah, you heard me
* Orlando Bloom – if he’s not gay, he should be. He’s definitely the prettiest boy in all the world, and it was only in the third Lord of The Rings film, The Return of the King did I realize his
character, Legolas Greenleaf, was really male. True story.
* John Travolta
* Wyoming – Brokeback Mountain was set there. The film was actually shot in Canada. Probably French-speaking Canada.
* Perez Hilton
* My downstairs neighbors’ two male dogs that like to get “cozy” with each other frequently. If you thought straight-up doggie sex made you uncomfortable, you really don’t want to witness the male-to-male bonding I’ve seen between these two canines. Let’s just say my water bill from all the showers I’ve taken in an attempt to “wash the dirt off” is astronomical.
* Yo mamma. Yeah, you heard me.
Speaking of your mamma, tell her she doesn’t have to head down to Vegas to gamble away the college fund anymore. All she has to do is power up that laptop and start playing online slots. If she happens to reside in the US, she can also try online casinos that accept US players.
